Dave Barry's Guide to Marriage And/or Sex
“The last thing she wants, when she’s up at the altar on her own Very Special Day, is for a millipede to come strolling out of her bodice.
Nevertheless you must have a wonderful gown. This is where you need the expert help of a qualified bridal couturier, who can answer your technical questions: YOU: What kinds of gowns do you have for under $2,000?
COUTURIER: Well, we have this one right here.
YOU: This is a group of used Handi-Wipes sewn together.
COUTURIER: Yes. By preschool children.
With this kind of guidance, you’ll be able to select a truly memorable gown, one that will cause your parents to remark in admiration: “How much?
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