“I crossed out the entry as soon as I wrote it. The words were too bald. On the next line I rewrote the sentence. Theory: Amanda Clarke was murdered. If I was going to treat suicide as only a possibility, I needed to do the same with murder, no matter how much more frequently the word was now being uttered. In the days that had immediately followed her death, it seemed everyone wanted to avoid discussing the possibility she had been deliberately killed, particularly the adults. Like ...Jude, most people talked of foul play or perhaps whispered that they hoped ‘something awful’ hadn’t happened to her. Although Sonia, Cassie and I had uttered the word ‘murder’ out loud, it had been like touching something hot. We had approached it with caution, hoping that when we said it, it would lose some of its burn, cooling down with the utterance. To really contemplate the possibility was terrible, and yet gradually people seemed to be accepting that this looked likely, letting the fear into our lives.MoreLessRead More Read Less
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