“I lay back against the pillows, propped up in bed, as I let the book fall to the coverlet. I was home alone, as usual. If the past few weeks were anything to go by, George wouldn't get home until after I was asleep. As professionals who always needed our sleep in order to be at our best in our professional lives, waking one another up for sex was something we had never done, so there was no prospect, even, of the pallid satisfaction that making love with George could provide. Despite the reluct...ance to which I have confessed above, nevertheless, once that reluctance was overcome, it provided during those years some respite from the fantasies I was now indulging with the help of this naughty book. That kind of limited satisfaction, though, would not be happening tonight. This was my self-pollution calculus, and I engaged in it whenever I was about to step past the bounds of shame that, despite my inveterate habit of polluting myself nearly daily, nevertheless still held some embarrassment for me.MoreLessRead More Read Less
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