Calamity Jayne And the Sisterhood of the Traveling Lawn Gnome (2015)
Calamity Jayne And the Sisterhood of the Traveling Lawn Gnome
“I'd catch a ride home with my dad, clean up, and head out to the park with Taylor who would be helping with concessions. Uncle Frank would donate a portion of his sales to the Historical Village fund. I was looking forward to covering the event.
Who am I kidding? I was looking forward to participating in the event. I played softball. I rode horses.
Donkey baseball? Dude! I'm what you call a natural.
I hurried into the newspaper office and headed straight for Stan's office, eager to run the gnom...e theory by him. I put on the brakes when I noticed a sheet of paper tacked to the bulletin board in the hall.
"For sale," it read. "1987 Plymouth Roadkill Reliant. Unique paint job. Loaded with extras. One of a kind anti-theft security system. Perfect for that eccentric and hard-to-buy for family member. Previously owned by the notorious Calamity Jayne Turner. Vehicle can be seen at Ray's Wreck and Salvage. Gas mask and eye protection recommended when viewing the vehicle. All offers considered, reasonable or not." I muttered a few choice words about men evolving from jackasses (or vice versa) and was about to expand on my theory when a bellow caught me in mid-hypothesis.MoreLess
Who am I kidding? I was looking forward to participating in the event. I played softball. I rode horses.
Donkey baseball? Dude! I'm what you call a natural.
I hurried into the newspaper office and headed straight for Stan's office, eager to run the gnom...e theory by him. I put on the brakes when I noticed a sheet of paper tacked to the bulletin board in the hall.
"For sale," it read. "1987 Plymouth Roadkill Reliant. Unique paint job. Loaded with extras. One of a kind anti-theft security system. Perfect for that eccentric and hard-to-buy for family member. Previously owned by the notorious Calamity Jayne Turner. Vehicle can be seen at Ray's Wreck and Salvage. Gas mask and eye protection recommended when viewing the vehicle. All offers considered, reasonable or not." I muttered a few choice words about men evolving from jackasses (or vice versa) and was about to expand on my theory when a bellow caught me in mid-hypothesis.MoreLess
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