Bones in High Places
“‘I’ve found another one, just like before! What do you think of that, Maurice!’ I closed my eyes, composed my ears and nerves, and enquired gently as to what he might be talking about.
‘There’s a stiff,’ he bellowed, ‘laid out by some water – blood and stuff all over the shop, and … and bones!’ He danced around in an ecstasy of triumph and excitement, flailing his tale and trampling wildly over my neatly arranged pilchards.
That did it. ‘Enough, Bouncer!’ I cried. ‘I do not care how many stiffs... there are, I will not have my fish interfered with. Now, sit down and be silent, and when you are collected I may listen to your news.’ Surprisingly my words had the desired effect, and for a few merciful seconds he was quiet.
During the pause I did what I could to rearrange the mangled pilchards, and once they were in some semblance of order indicated he could continue his tale.
‘You see, Maurice,’ he burbled, ‘you know when F.O. and the Primrose went up to the big house and stayed there all night – well, I got a bit bored with them being away like that and I thought it would be quite interesting to go and see what they were up to – sort of have a sniff around.MoreLess
‘There’s a stiff,’ he bellowed, ‘laid out by some water – blood and stuff all over the shop, and … and bones!’ He danced around in an ecstasy of triumph and excitement, flailing his tale and trampling wildly over my neatly arranged pilchards.
That did it. ‘Enough, Bouncer!’ I cried. ‘I do not care how many stiffs... there are, I will not have my fish interfered with. Now, sit down and be silent, and when you are collected I may listen to your news.’ Surprisingly my words had the desired effect, and for a few merciful seconds he was quiet.
During the pause I did what I could to rearrange the mangled pilchards, and once they were in some semblance of order indicated he could continue his tale.
‘You see, Maurice,’ he burbled, ‘you know when F.O. and the Primrose went up to the big house and stayed there all night – well, I got a bit bored with them being away like that and I thought it would be quite interesting to go and see what they were up to – sort of have a sniff around.MoreLess
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