Bob the Zombie
“If you've ever seen those 'National Lampoon's Vacation' movies, you know what I mean. Even my death was hysterically funny. I was a twenty five year old college dropout and was living at home with my parents. In fact I had been hanging out, relaxing in their garden, when I decided to prune my mom's roses. I was cutting a stem near the house and turned to respond to a neighbor who hollered a hello. It's at that point the stepstool I was using tipped and I impaled myself, jugular first, on the pr...uning shears when I fell to the ground. Sure, at the time it was horrifying, but now I can look back, see the vague similarity to a Chevy Chase character, and laugh.
My mom was distraught at my demise and she hired a witch who specialized in necromancy to bring me back. The spell went a little funny and instead of being brought forth from the ground in a geyser of dirt, I awoke in my casket and had to dig my way out. Luckily, Mom waited for me and gave me a nice mug of hot chocolate after I dug myself out of the fetid earth.MoreLess
My mom was distraught at my demise and she hired a witch who specialized in necromancy to bring me back. The spell went a little funny and instead of being brought forth from the ground in a geyser of dirt, I awoke in my casket and had to dig my way out. Luckily, Mom waited for me and gave me a nice mug of hot chocolate after I dug myself out of the fetid earth.MoreLess
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