Big Girls Do It Pregnant
“I wanted to be that tough kind of woman who endures the pain of childbirth in silence; my throat ached, scraped raw, because I wasn’t that kind of woman. I sucked in long breaths, eyes closed and knees drawn up, fingers clutching the bed railing so hard I didn’t think I could let go on my own.
I felt Jeff next to me, and I knew he felt helpless. I wanted to tell him it was okay, it would be worth it all when we held our little babies. Words wouldn’t come out, though, stolen as another wave of excruciation sliced through me.
I heard voices, felt something wet and cold on my belly, then a hard probing and sliding across my skin: an ultrasound. I tried to pry my eyes open to see the screen, but my sight was blurred and wavering. “He’s still breech,” a voice said. “We’ll have to do an emergency C-section.”
I wanted to cry, but I also knew it would mean an end to the pain. I saw ceiling tiles overhead, moving. Long breaths in and out, wrenching pain, more voices, fluorescent lights, door...s opening, Jeff telling me to breathe, it’s okay, baby, just breathe for me, in and out, breathe in and one, two three, more pain, things happening to my body, motion, blue papery fabric wrapped over me.MoreLess
I felt Jeff next to me, and I knew he felt helpless. I wanted to tell him it was okay, it would be worth it all when we held our little babies. Words wouldn’t come out, though, stolen as another wave of excruciation sliced through me.
I heard voices, felt something wet and cold on my belly, then a hard probing and sliding across my skin: an ultrasound. I tried to pry my eyes open to see the screen, but my sight was blurred and wavering. “He’s still breech,” a voice said. “We’ll have to do an emergency C-section.”
I wanted to cry, but I also knew it would mean an end to the pain. I saw ceiling tiles overhead, moving. Long breaths in and out, wrenching pain, more voices, fluorescent lights, door...s opening, Jeff telling me to breathe, it’s okay, baby, just breathe for me, in and out, breathe in and one, two three, more pain, things happening to my body, motion, blue papery fabric wrapped over me.MoreLess
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