As I Die Lying
“Why the fuck did I say that? I'd better be careful, or I won't be peeling the old banana tonight. No monkey business. And, thanks, Richard, for letting me be the first-person, present-tense narrator here, because, let’s face it, you know how to write but you couldn’t fuck your way out of a soggy Hilton sister. Leave that part to me. "Uh—I said I wanted to kiss you." "I like you, Richard, maybe even love you, but right now I'm so screwed up, I can't trust my feelings. After all I've told you, I can't believe you haven't jumped out of the car and run into the cornfields." Richard? Oh, yeah, what's-his-face, the one who went away. I feel him back there somewhere, watching from the dark. Such a spaghetti dick. Let him stay back there. Let's see, what would he say next?
"Hey, Virginia, it'll be all right." And it'll be even more all right when I get into those hot little pants, girl. Come on, give it up to the man. Let Loverboy rock you.
Hey, don't push my hand away. You know you want it.
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