Aftermath
“A beating mess of glass fragments.
According to Mother, I should pretend as if it never happened. As if my mind doesn’t wander toward beautiful amber eyes, a tuft of fuzzy brown hair, a button nose and rose petal lips. A body I nurtured for nine months and loved way before first sight.
I dreamt of her future. Diapers and bottles and blankets. Her first tooth. Teaching her to ride a bike. Days at the park. A small place we’d call our own. With a puppy. I’d read her bedtime stories and make sure ...she always knew she was loved and wanted.
All of that is gone, now.
And I will never forgive my Mother. This is one fault she can’t undo with time. Or justify with explanations. Or fix with surgery.
___ LILLY HAD NEVER worked critical care, outside of the hospital. Never not had on-call backup at the ready for codes.
What she had, inside the Bening house, was the bare minimum a field nurse might have in Iraq, while awaiting a larger set up. Surgical supplies, a blood pressure and O2 monitor and enough saline to last a week.MoreLess
According to Mother, I should pretend as if it never happened. As if my mind doesn’t wander toward beautiful amber eyes, a tuft of fuzzy brown hair, a button nose and rose petal lips. A body I nurtured for nine months and loved way before first sight.
I dreamt of her future. Diapers and bottles and blankets. Her first tooth. Teaching her to ride a bike. Days at the park. A small place we’d call our own. With a puppy. I’d read her bedtime stories and make sure ...she always knew she was loved and wanted.
All of that is gone, now.
And I will never forgive my Mother. This is one fault she can’t undo with time. Or justify with explanations. Or fix with surgery.
___ LILLY HAD NEVER worked critical care, outside of the hospital. Never not had on-call backup at the ready for codes.
What she had, inside the Bening house, was the bare minimum a field nurse might have in Iraq, while awaiting a larger set up. Surgical supplies, a blood pressure and O2 monitor and enough saline to last a week.MoreLess
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