“Howard Carmichael hoisted himself off the toilet and dragged his pants up as he waddled out of the bathroom. “Debbie! Kevin! Where the hell are you two?” He snatched the receiver off the kitchen wall and then wandered through the house, searching for his wife as he barked into the cordless phone, “Hullo.”“Dad!” Phil blurted in his ear. “You’re not gonna believe what I just heard from Brandy.”“Yeah, what?” It had better be good, seeing as his son had just interrupted Howard’s first healthy dump ...in a week.“Asshole Manion knocked up a girl in my Marriage and Family class.”“The coach screwed a student?” This was good. He rubbed his grinding gut. Really good.“Not the coach,” Phil corrected, “asshole Alex. He’s been doin’ Emma Bradford.”“Oh.” Howard sighed his disappointment and kicked one of his daughter Catie’s dolls out of his way. He’d heard Jake’s son was dating that Bradford bitch’s daughter. The news wasn’t quite as juicy as Hotshot Manion diddling some teenybopper.MoreLessRead More Read Less
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