A Fistful of Fig Newtons (2010)
“Whipple, with that sissy mustache and those funny little glasses, running around squeezing Charmin. I wondered how many shoppers secretly began squeezing toilet paper after that ad campaign, just to stay up with the crowd. Once, there was a commercial for Alka-Seltzer where the bride cooked up a heart-shaped meatloaf. Not long afterward I myself was served a heart-shaped meatloaf by a smiling, toothsome wench. Life imitates art again.
I chuckled, remembering squirting Heinz catsup on the heart,... which gave it a distinct religious overtone. Like the time my grandmother served a cake molded like a lamb, with coconut wool, for Easter. She whacked off the head and served it to me with vanilla ice cream, which caused me to wake up screaming for years afterward and ultimately caused my conversion to zealous atheism in my teens.
So my fevered thoughts ran, in my endless odyssey through the Lincoln Tunnel, jammed wall-to-wall with Detroit iron of various marques and vintages. Oh, I’ve had my share of tunnel adventures.MoreLess
I chuckled, remembering squirting Heinz catsup on the heart,... which gave it a distinct religious overtone. Like the time my grandmother served a cake molded like a lamb, with coconut wool, for Easter. She whacked off the head and served it to me with vanilla ice cream, which caused me to wake up screaming for years afterward and ultimately caused my conversion to zealous atheism in my teens.
So my fevered thoughts ran, in my endless odyssey through the Lincoln Tunnel, jammed wall-to-wall with Detroit iron of various marques and vintages. Oh, I’ve had my share of tunnel adventures.MoreLess
Read book A Fistful of Fig Newtons for free
Write Review:
Guest
Read Also
9 / 10
8 / 10
User Reviews: